So you’ve just got engaged… now what?

Where to begin with Wedding Planning…

12 Steps to get you started!

Wedding Planning is SO exciting!… but can also seem totally overwhelming in the beginning!

So, in this blog post, I’ve put together the first 12 steps you should take when embarking on your Wedding Planning Journey!

Okay… First things first:

Decide if you’re signing up for ‘Don’t Tell The Bride’…

No, I’m totally kidding!!!:

1. Announce & ENJOY your engagement!

Everyone will be so quick to ask ‘soooo when’s the wedding’, ‘have you booked a venue yet’, ‘how many bridesmaids will you be having’ etc… and it means that so many of us (myself included!) dive headfirst into the planning and forget to enjoy the actual engagement!

Flood your socials with ring-selfies, use the word ‘fiancé’ or ‘hubby-to-be’ in every other sentence, have an engagement party (over Zoom if we’re still in lockdown!)… whatever you do, make the most of this exciting time with your loved one, it’s like a magical pre-wedding honeymoon period for you to enjoy (especially before any wedding planning stress has a chance to set in!).

2. Nominate your Bridal Party

So you might already know who your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen may be… you may have had them chosen for years already! But now’s the time to let them know! My advice is to wait and see who helps you with the Engagement Party / is the most excited for you and ready to dive into wedding planning with you… You’re going to be spending a lot of time together getting wedding-ready so choose carefully!

There are so many ways that you can ‘pop-the-question’ to your Bridal Party… head to my Insta Stories highlight ‘Wine & Whine’3 for some Inspo to get you started!

And then when you’re ready to start planning with your Bridal Team…

3. Buy a Wedding Planner!

This will get you SO excited for your Wedding Planning to begin. They usually include fabulous checklists, pockets to keep important documents and endless space for note taking at supplier appointments.

Here are a list of (& links to) my current faves:

4. Decide your BUDGET!

Some people start with Guest Lists, and others start with Budget. It’s up to you which way you begin. I would recommend starting with budget so you know how many guests you can actually afford to have at your wedding (more on this later).

To start with, find out who will be contributing towards the Wedding. Is it just you and your partner who will be covering the costs or are there family members who wish to help out too. Once you know this plus how much you already have saved/can afford to save up during the planning process, you have your budget!

Now… how to allocate it:

The best way to begin is to sit down with your partner and decide what is most important to you both. In short… what are you each not willing to compromise on? It it your wedding dress, the venue, their favourite wedding band, the food? This way you will understand what each other’s priority’s are and what you BOTH are willing to spend that extra little bit on! Allocate the money to these areas first so you know that the most important items are covered… any additional elements of the day will be dependent on money leftover. This conversation will also most likely reveal what is less important to you, showing you which areas you can save on!

5. Write your GUEST LIST

So you know how much Money you have to spend on your wedding… but you don’t know how many guests this means you can afford to invite! The No. of guests you invite has the biggest impact on your Wedding costs… to save money simply invite less guests.

Use this simple ‘Guest List Calculator’ to help you:

Total Budget – Fixed Costs

———————————————

Cost-per-head estimate

= No. of Guests you can realistically invite!

Your ‘Fixed Costs’ inc. anything that isn’t affected by No. of Guests (i.e. photographer, wedding dress etc.) Your ‘cost-per-head’ will inc. all items such as: food, drink, favours, invitations, chair covers etc.

6. Choose a DATE:

So by ‘choose a date’ I don’t mean that you have to be SO specific in picking only one date… but before you visit any venues its good to have an idea of when-ish you would like to be wed…

1. The Season (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter)
2. The Day (Midweek or Weekend)
3. The Year (This year, next year or two years time)
4. The Date (A special date with meaning – your anniversary, bonfire night, NYE?) – If you do have a very specific date in mind make sure to start your venue search early to ensure you lock in your dream date!

Bear in mind that it’s easier if you are slightly flexible with dates, as seasonal pricing will vary from venue to venue, whereas your budget will remain static… for example: you may be able to secure your dream date within your budget at your second favourite venue, but an off-peak date at your favourite venue – decide what is most important to you (date or venue) and go with that!

Make sure to avoid ‘Wedding Blackout Dates’ – BEFORE you book your venue – make sure to check your calendar and location for any significant events that are happening on that day! Not just for

A friend’s birthday
Or a Christening you’re supposed to be attending

Things like…

A Charity Ball at your Venue?
A Market Fayre that means a road is closed!
A Local Holiday – A Concert / Show
Racing / Sporting Events nearby…the list goes on!

Basically anything that may affect traffic, parking or local hotel availability. If you’ve already booked then check now just to make sure and let your guests know in advance so they can arrive/book earlier… it’s always best to be prepared!

7. Find a VENUE

Once you have decided on your ideal date you now need to check if that date (or around that date) is available at your favourite venues.
Start by talking to your partner and deciding what type of venue are you looking for, is it a:

Country House
Castle
Rustic Barn
Beach/Coastal
Tipi
Hotel
Destination Wedding

Once you have decided on what style of venue you fancy, start visiting the websites of all your faves and downloading their PDF wedding brochures, some include pricing but a lot of venues like to hold off on quotes until you’ve had a ‘show round’ with them.

Then you can start booking in your venue viewings… I would advise calling the venue rather than emailing as you can ask any questions that you have on your tick list (see list below), this will help you narrow it down and will stop any time wasting! You’ll also get a good sense of the venue itself, even if you just speak to reception rather than the wedding department, you’ll get a good vibe of how the venue operates and the service that your guests will receive when they call to book their accommodation etc.

For the viewings themselves you could go with your partner or your parents, or bridesmaids… but my advice would be DON’T TAKE TOO MANY… I would say 4 MAX… too many opinions and people wandering off, you’ll most likely forget to ask those vital questions or miss something important that the wedding coordinator was saying.

Questions to ask your Venue:

Do they have availability on your preferred date(s)
Is there an event the day before? (As this will affect whether you can set up the night prior, or whether it will be done the morning of).
Do you have ‘Exclusive Use’ of the venue?
Pricing – is it within your Budget? (Remember BE TOTALLY HONEST… Yes, go for a nosey on an Open Day but don’t waste their time and yours! – you wouldn’t want to see it and get your heart set on it if it’s not realistic).
What does the price actually include?
Is it Mobility friendly?
Does the price inc. VAT?
Minimum Number of Guests (for your date/time of year).
Do they have Onsite Accommodation?
Do they have Accommodation available for the night prior? And for both parties? Enough space for your bridesmaids/groomsmen too?
Toilets – where are they/how many – (maybe don’t ask this on the phone haha, just on the show round).
Check In & Out times?
Do they allow ‘Corkage’? (What is their pricing?)
Are there any additional/hidden costs not mentioned in the brochure (these could be accommodation related costs i.e. for additional beds/cots in rooms, or for additional hours on the bar after close etc.)
Is there a Venue Wedding Coordinator included?
Maximum Capacity?
Is the Ceremony Space different to the Reception Space? Find out how the day will flow as you move between spaces (where will your guests be during the drinks reception, what about the time between finishing the meal and the evening reception starting? etc.)
Caterers (Are they in-house or can you book your own? i.e. food trucks etc. – are there additional costs for this?)
Does the price include Complimentary Menu Tasting? (Wines? Canapes? etc.).
Are they Dog Friendly?
What time is Last Orders & Bar Close – Is there a bar for residents after hours?
What time does the Live Music have to finish?
Is there a Sound limiter at the Venue?
Do they allow Confetti (and if so, what? Biodegradable, or natural petal only?)
Do they allow Fireworks? (If yes, where will these take place?)
Do they allow Candles?
Timings – what time do they recommend/require the Ceremony to start/ and the celebrations to end?
Lighting (What is provided… the fairy lights you see strung up on the Open Day’s may not be included/may be from an external supplier)
Payment Plan & Cancellation Policy? (Most venues will ask for a non-refundable initial deposit).
Are there any Complimentary Items included within the package? (On-the-day Stationery? Lawn Games? A Post Box for your Wedding Cards? A Discounted Stay for your Anniversary?)
Discounts – When are they offered? For example, a lot of venues will offer discounted rates on their Open Days… it may be worth asking when their next one is as it may be soon!

Once you’ve asked your questions you will easily be able to narrow down your venue based on:

Capacity – does it fit all your guests?
Location – Is it WHERE you want it to be?
Theme – Does it fit the overall theme/vision you have for your Wedding?
Non-negotiables – What are the things you won’t compromise on? For example; Maybe it’s fireworks… not allowed at that venue? – cross them off the list!

Once you’ve settled on a venue, put the date on hold with them immediately and go straight to check if the Registrars/your Church is available on that date…

8. Book your CEREMONY

There are a few different types of ceremonies to consider:

Would you prefer a:

Church/Religious Wedding
Civil Ceremony
Civil Partnership
Humanist/Celebrant Ceremony

Hitched.co.uk have put together a fabulous blog post called ‘How to get married’… this has all the relevant details you’ll need to know about all these different types of ceremonies and about starting the process of booking your Ceremony… but always make sure to check the full process with your local registrars/church too!

If you’re having a civil ceremony, you will need to make sure both the venue and registrar are available on the same day! PLEASE make sure they are also available for the ceremony at the same TIME!!! – this is a common mistake (and could result in you having re-pay for your registrars as they don’t allow you to make changes once booked!).

I would recommend finding your venue and reserving your wedding date (don’t hand over any money or sign anything at this point), then call your register office to book the registrar for that date and time. You can’t book the registrar without the date or venue name so it’s essential to have both of these ready. Once the registrar is confirmed, you can confirm the venue by signing forms and paying your initial deposit.

9. Send your SAVE-THE-DATES

As soon as you’ve got your Venue & Ceremony booked – send your ‘Save the Dates’ – you wouldn’t want anyone to book a holiday or plan their own wedding over the same date! Invites should be sent out approximately 6 months before your Wedding Date (don’t send them too early as this will lead to a lots of ‘false RSVP’s’ with people changing their mind again last minute)… so make sure to send those save-the-dates ASAP and get your date in their diary well in advance.

10. WEDMIN

Insurance – Now would be a great time to start shopping for Wedding Insurance. I would HIGHLY recommend that you have your Wedding covered by insurance. It’s a massive expenditure so you want to make sure that you’re at least safe money-wise if the worst was to happen! (TOUCH WOOD!). We got ours from John Lewis, it covered absolutely everything for our Destination Wedding and it was only £60… what a BARGAIN!… and SO worth the peace of mind!!

Instagram – Create a separate Bridal Instagram account to share your Wedding Planning Journey – a fab online keepsake! You can make it private so your guests can’t see anything, and you don’t spam your personal account with wedding detail overload! You’ll also get to connect with loads of other Brides who will share their inspo and ups & downs with you! You’d be surprised how many Brides do this! – insta is the perfect Bridey Hangout! Don’t feel nervous about it – just go for it! It’s an amazing online community & support system! Read my blog on who you should INSTANTLY follow for maximum wedding inspo here.

Email – How about setting up a wedding email address to go with it… That way you can use it for all your wedding brochure downloads and give it to your suppliers meaning all your WEDMIN i.e. correspondence, quotes, plans etc. can easily be found all in one place! You could even create it in your soon-to-be married name, so that you can continue to use it after the wedding! (Remember to get your old emails forwarded across to your new address… for more info on changing your name see my blog post!)

11. Search for Colour Scheme/Theme Inspo

Then spend loads of time on Pinterest/Instagram picking a colour scheme… REMEMBER this will be the basis for most of your other decisions! (Invitations, flowers, chair covers, bridesmaid dresses… everything!) We’ve all currently got plenty of time on our hands due to not being able to leave the bloody house! – so use it to your advantage! Spend a day in bed with your partner (no, not doing that!), just scrolling and deciding what you like, pulling together ideas and creating mood boards… SUCH FUN!

12. Book your Wedding Planner/Coordinator

If you need more help…

My favourite tip is to book a FREE consultation with a wedding planner! And here’s 3 Reasons why!

1. First of all it’s FREE so you have nothing to lose!

2. You’ll get to chat about your Wedding to your hearts content!

3. It will give you the reassurance that you’re on the right track… and find out if you’re missing anything!

Book an appointment… or if you know someone who is getting married and is stressed you can buy a Bride-to-be voucher from me for a full consultation!

And if you’re thinking about going ahead and booking a Wedding Coordinator or Planner now would be the time to book!

Wedding Planners help you from the start and all the way through.
Wedding Coordinators work with you on the Wedding Day (your Venue may already include one – but if you’re booking something like a marquee wedding – definitely book an on-the-day coordinator! There is SO much to be done… trust me!

I’ll get started on another blog post in the next few weeks about which are the MAIN suppliers you need to book ASAP once you’ve worked your way through these 12 steps and I’ll include some of the top questions to ask them too!

I hope this helped get you started you on your exciting Wedding Planning journey!!!

… but you know where I am if you need any more help!

Good Luck… let me know how you get on!

Lots of Love,

Mrs T x