The Wedding Taylor

Wedding Planner

Monthly Round-Up! ‘Wine & Whine’ Wednesdays (Oct & Nov ’20)

Everything covered in the last month of our sipping & sharing sessions!

So… everyone knows that wedding planning is SO much fun… looking at all the different colour schemes, flowers & dresses! But… everyone so often little issues pop up here and there that drive you round the bend! It might be ‘Uncle Jeff’ whinging about the food choices, or ‘Auntie Doris’ wanting to bring her new boyfriend as a plus one (even though no-one’s ever met him and they’ve only been dating a week!)… maybe a bridesmaid is refusing to wear that colour dress or someone who RSVP’d ‘No’ weeks ago has now decided they want to come… 3 days before your wedding!!! 

That’s where ‘Wine & Whine’ Wednesdays come in! 

As many of you will know, every Wednesday over on my Instagram Stories… I  pop a comment box up…  pour myself a glass of wine… get all comfy and get ready to listen to all your wedding whines and woes over the last week. It’s a great time to get some have a little bitch and moan with some other bridal babes, maybe get some questions answered… oh and also drink a well-deserved glass of wine too! 

(I also try to share my choice of wine earlier in the week in case any of you fancy joining me in the same bottle… like a kind of wine-tasting at home… just an extra bit of fun!)

As I know some of you might have missed my stories that week, I save them as a ‘highlight’… but my friend suggested I did a ‘monthly round-up’ everything we’ve covered so far. So here it is!…

You can flick through the questions to see if there is anything that you were dying to ask but didn’t have a chance. Have a glance over the answers… I hope they help. If there’s anything you want a more in-depth answer to… just contact me here.

(Everything here is written as it was on the day):

Wednesday 28th October 2020

  • Question/Comment: People feeling they should have a say on who you should and shouldn’t be inviting… Grr x
  • Answer/Response: So true I always say that weddings are the easiest thing to plan… until you start inviting people! Obviously I don’t know who it is who’s telling you who you should/shouldn’t invite… If it’s someone who is contributing towards your wedding (money-wise) then it’s slightly more difficult. But my personal opinion is that anyone who is attending your wedding should have a relationship with both you and your partner in some way (i.e. you’ve at least both met them) you don’t want to be introducing yourself to someone on your wedding day… how strange! Or for whatever other reason you don’t want them there… just make it clear to whoever is telling you that it will make you uncomfortable (on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your lives… and do they really want you to feel that way on your wedding day? Hopefully they will see sense and remember that it’s your day, not theirs! (In the nicest way possible!) Good Luck! (And cheers to your wedding!) 
  • Q. What is the most common aspect of a wedding people overlook when planning? 
  • A. Where to start! There are so many different aspects to a wedding… The main thing most people forget to plan for is who will actually do the things you have planned on the day!There is usually so much last minute set up and also coordination of suppliers to be done on the wedding morning.Your bridesmaids will be busy getting ready and looking after you of course! That’s where people like me come in! I actually trusted my Groomsmen to do most of this on my wedding morning… I think they were that scared of messing it up for me that they actually did an amazing job! (I’m sorry but unfortunately they’re not available for hire!).For marquee weddings there’s a whole other list of things that people forget! (I’ll cover this in a blog post soon!) I LOVEEE a marquee wedding! But I would ALWAYS recommend hiring a coordinator for one!Mainly it’s the little details that make your wedding about you! There are so many different ways to do this… and I will be doing a blog post about it soon!
  • Q. Would you chose venue over guests? In love with a venue but it won’t hold our numbers!
  • A. So… this is always going to be a very personal decision… and is going to depend how far over you are on your guest numbers but… Don’t panic just yet! This is often a worry for a lot of brides… when actually… they’re not TOO far over! For any wedding there is ALWAYS a 5-10% drop-out rate in guests! Whether this is due to work, illness, travel, childcare, etc. And it’s usually people you wouldn’t expect! But I’ve never had a wedding where every guest who was invited attended… So have another look at your numbers and see if – with a 10% drop-out – you could fit in your dream venue! And if not… maybe fall out with some people? 
  • Q. Coronavirus ruining all wedding plans!
  • A. I honestly can’t IMAGINE how difficult this year has been for all Brides & Grooms. If I was getting married this year I think I would be on breakdown no. 847284958392 by now! So… to everyone who is struggling at the moment… you’re doing amazing and I’m SO proud of you! I’m always here if anyone just needs someone to talk to… (it doesn’t have to be a Wednesday!). I also have a verrrrry long blog post going up this Saturday (already posted… read it here)  about COVID. Covering all the things to consider when deciding to go ahead or move your wedding date! 
  • Q. Being made to feel guilty for feeling sad about a cancelled wedding x 
  • A. Omgosh this is CRAZY! Whoooo would make you feel guilty about that!?? It’s absolutely devastating! You be as upset as you want about it lovely! Having to cancel your wedding must be upsetting on so many different levels! I don’t know why someone wouldn’t be able to see that! Maybe disinvite this person to your new wedding date? I’m happy to take their place! (Bloody love a wedding, me!). 
  • Q. What are you thoughts on outdoor weddings? I love them but so worried about weather! 
  • A. Bloody love an outdoor wedding! My MAIN piece of advice would be to ALWAYS have a Plan B! (Because… it is Britain!) Remember to think of things such as: 
    • An alternate indoor space (or covered area) 
    • Will all your guests fit in the Plan B space? 
    • Where will you decorations be moved to and set up in this Plan B space? 
    • At what point will the decision be made to move to this Plan B space? (Will it be the night prior? The morning of?) 
    • Does this allow enough time for set up? 
    • Most importantly… make sure all suppliers are aware of the plan for both options! 
  • Q. Where to start when choosing a colour scheme? 
  • A. Ooh yes… a main starting point for the majority of your wedding plans!…I would say if you’ve already booked your wedding date then the season would be the best place to start! Take inspiration from Mother Nature! Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter are all extremely different vibes!! This will also dictate which flowers will be available to your event dressers, they will most likely be able to get what you want (even if it’s out of season)… but this will affect the price and certainly make more of a dent in your wedding budget!… so choose wisely! Think about yours and your partner’s favourite colours and see if there is any crossover between the two of you! Then head to everyones favourite inspo site… Pinterest!You will find mood boards, complimentary colours, floral arrangements in that colour scheme… not to mention stationary, bridesmaids dressers etc. the list goes on! Also… have another look around your Wedding Venue and take inspiration from the colours in your Ceremony & Reception spaces. Find photos and videos of other Weddings at your venue on places like Instagram & YouTube and see what works in the spaces and what you like! With social media there’s so many places to take inspiration from nowadays! Or simply choose a favourite flower and build your colour scheme around it! 
  • Q. Feeling obliged to make someone part of the bridal party. 
  • A. Yes… this can be a very difficult area to navigate!… It will obviously depend on the relationship you have with said person… but this is usually the case with childhood friends… You’ve been friends for years but maybe you have new friends who you’re closer to now… Or maybe it’s a family member? Again… pretty standard advice… but true: IT’S.YOUR.DAY. Do what makes you happy… it they love you.. they’ll be happy for you! When choosing your Bridal Party… I have one piece of advice… (that most people ignore). I know you want them to be involved from the word ‘go’… but HOLD OFF… just for a little while. Wait and see who makes the effort. Trust me… you’ll thank me later! 
  • Q. My Wedding isn’t far away and I’m disappointed I haven’t had the motivation to lose more weight! 
  • A. I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point! I certainly felt that way in the lead up to my wedding!! Even though I had the biggest motivator of all (a gorgeous wedding dress to fit into!)… I just found myself totally unmotivated! I have two separate answers depending on how far away your wedding day is now… If you still have some time: 
    • TRY SOMETHING NEW!
    • Hire a PT 
    • Join a group such as Slimming World
    • Go swimming 
    • Start an online class (i.e. Courtney Black App? Boogie Bounce?) 
  • It can become very repetitive doing the same thing again and again i.e. going for a jog, eating a salad etc. that we often get bored and give up. Mix it up a bit!… you never know, it could give you the boost you were looking for! And if you left it too late (like I did!)
    • Then you need to make peace with it and learn to love your body. 
  • Yes… MUCH easier said than done… but the more pressure you put on yourself and the more upset you get about it, the more you are going to end up spoiling your own wedding day for yourself!… and you’ve spent so much time planning and saving… you definitely don’t want to do that to yourself! Do you? Chances are that you are your own worst critic and you are being extremely tough on yourself… when in reality I bet you look bloody fabulous! (Your hubby-to-be certainly seems to think so… he’s marrying you after all!) 

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Wednesday 11th November 2020

  • Q. Why is there always one bridesmaid who is hard work! (Aka my older sister) 
  • A. Omg… there is ALWAYS one… you’re lucky if it’s only one sometimes! You are not alone don’t worry!!… I definitely think that some bridesmaids are FABULOUS and others do forget that their job is to be there to help you as much as possible (and certainly not to make it harder!) It’s definitely even more difficult for you when they’re family and you can’t kick them out of the Bridal Party!… Firstly, you’ll have to message me all the goss… is she jealous because you’re getting married before her? Or is it because she’s already had her day and doesn’t like that all of the attention is now on you? Or is she just always this difficult in general? I think the best thing is to always get these things off your chest rather than let them fester… you don’t want it to put a dampener on the whole experience. Try pulling her to one side and explain how you feel, whilst giving her a gentle reminder that this is one of the biggest days of your life. (But definitely don’t ‘kick off’… you don’t want her to give you a reason to make out that you’re a bridezilla!) Just more like that you would love your big sister to more of a part of your day. And if that doesn’t work… just put her in the ugliest dress imaginable (but without messing up your colour scheme obvs). 
  • Q. Speeches before or after food? 
  • A. Ooh… I love this one, I get asked it all the time! So… the answer: It’s totally up to you! But here are some factors to help you decide… 
    • Speeches before:
      • CON’s: 
        • Means that your guests will have to wait for their meal… so may be hungry/impatient and therefore may not enjoy/listen to the speeches as much! 
      • PRO’s: 
        • However the people who are doing the speeches will be able to enjoy their meal MUCH more if they do them first. (Remember these are people in your Bridal Party… your VIP’s). 
        • Also it gets rid of the awkward silence that no-one thinks about when wedding planning… I have seen this awkward silence at MANY weddings before… It happens when the B&G are first announced into the Reception Room for their Wedding Breakfast… they walk over to their table whilst everyone is applauding, they sit, and the guests sit, and then… SILENCE. Whilst the guests all look round waiting for either the speeches or meal to start. It’s easy to get around this if you want to have speeches afterwards (either have the MC announce the meal immediately, make sure your Order of the Day is in a prominent place so everyone knows the speeches will be after, or make sure your background music is played immediately once you are sat.) It’s such a simple thing and most wedding coordinators at venues will be on top of it… but I’ve honestly seen this happen so many times… and if you have relatively quiet guests… it can be SO awkward. But the most simple way is to have speeches first. 
    • Speeches After: 
      • CONS’s 
        • Flip the Pro’s for before
      • PRO’s 
        • Your guests will be SO much more involved and excited about the speeches if they have already eaten (mainly because they will have also drank a lot more too) – but this definitely leads to bigger laughs, louder applause and more fun! 
  • So just prioritise what’s important to you, and there’s your answer! 
  • Q. How much roughly does a wedding cost? 
  • A. I could sit here and tell you that a wedding in the UK roughly costs £X amount… however there are plenty of articles in big magazines that tell you what the average cost of a UK Wedding is… What I will say is that I’ve worked with budgets from £1k to £60k… so… it’s one of those ‘how long is a piece of string’ questions… how much do you want it to be? 
  • Q. Any tips to get a long-term boyfriend to propose? 
  • A. Hahaa… you tell me girl! It took Mr T (wait for it)… SEVEN years to propose to me! (I mean, we were 16 when we started going out… but still!) You could definitely start off by sending him my blog post called ‘The 5 Rules of Engagement’ as a MASSIVE hint! Good Luck… & let me know how it goes! 
  • Q. Would you say it’s ever too early to crack on with the planning of everything? 
  • A. Absolutely not!! The earlier the better in my eyes! I had the full Wedding binder out the day we got engaged – don’t do that though… just enjoy the moment. Booking your main suppliers early is a MUST! 
    • Venue
    • Registrars/Church
    • Photographers/Videographers 
    • Event Dressers/Florist (for example) 
    • Music/Entertainment 
  • This will give you much more choice over dates and supplier availability! Just make sure you stick with your planning timelines and don’t get too far ahead of yourself… for example: don’t send out your invites a year early… just because you’re too excited to wait (you’ll get so many ‘false RSVP’s’ and you’ll have to check in with everyone again closer to the date… creating double the work for you! You’ll find a planning timeline inside any good wedding planner/diary… I’ll be sharing my fave one on an Insta Post soon! 

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Wednesday 18th November 2020

  • Q. People wanting to bring kids to my wedding. 
  • A. Ahhh yes… a common complaint! Kids definitely divide opinion in regards to weddings! It’s totally up to you whether you want to include kids in your wedding or not… if you definitely want to have an ‘adult only’ day that’s absolutely fine!… it’s YOUR day! Instead of telling the parents that you don’t want their adorable kids there, approach it slightly differently… tell them that you would love fore them to be able to have a night off all to themselves to be able to celebrate with you fully and help you party the night away! (There are loads of cute poems/nice ways of putting it that you can include in your invitations)… and if they definitely can’t get childcare… and you don’t want them to RSVP ‘no’… have you considered hiring childcare for the wedding day i.e. having a kids party room? I know it’s definitely not your first choice… but it may be better than not having your VIP’s there! Hopefully you won’t need to do this though as your guests will be totally understanding and be excited to have a child-free evening to get on the Wine and CELEBRATE your big day with you! As much as I ADORE my little one… that sounds like a fab night to me! *cue the immediate mum guilt for saying that. 
  • Q. Do you have to use a Registrar? 
  • A. Short answer: Nope! Long answer: If you want the wedding to be ‘official’ then yes at some point you will have to go to a registry office (whether that be on the actual wedding day or prior to the wedding) but on the day itself you don’t necessarily HAVE to use a registrar – you could book a Celebrant! (Church weddings are slightly different but I’m guessing you mean for a non-religious ceremony.) Celebrants are a FABULOUS way of making your Ceremony SUPER personal! They’re also a brilliant option if you’re trying to move your wedding due to COVID but the registrars aren’t available on your new wedding day! Check out Charlotte Pennefather Celebrant, her beautiful ceremonies make me cry EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. She’s actually doing my daughter’s Naming Ceremony.
  • Q. I didn’t realise how many things I would need to change my name on. I feel like I’m missing out loads. 
  • A. This comment couldn’t actually be better timed!!… Keep your eyes peeled for my NEW blog post this weekend! (Now available here). It’s called: ’48 places to change your name when you get Married… Becoming a ‘MRS’ on paper!’. Definitely one to SAVE for when you need it later! It’s a FULL list of all the places you need to change your name and will include details on if you need ID/how many forms of ID etc. Trust me… when I got married I realised that it’s a MUCH longer list than I thought it would be (my name isn’t actually fully changed still… even 2 years later!!! – I’ll explain why in the post!). I think it will definitely be a very helpful list for any Brides who are following me! And who doesn’t LOVE ticking off a list! Creating this list is actually one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog in the first place!
  • Q. We had a COVID wedding but I’m torn between having a party next year of not having one x
  • A. First of all… a MASSIVE well done for organising a wedding during a pandemic and still managing to go ahead despite all the guidelines! I hope you had an amazing day! (Also…#upyourscovid #loveisnotcancelled). Second of all… YES YES YES! Obviously it’s totally going to depend on your budget and if you’ve got other big expenditures in your life coming up (e.g. honeymoons, babies, houses etc.) But I would ALWAYS say yes to celebrating your wedding as much as you can and for as long as you can! (As my friends will tell you… I dragged ours out into a whole 2 week event!). So go for it! (And let me know if you need a hand with the planning!). 
  • Q. What other ways can the top table be set up if there are no key parents? 
  • A. Fab question! It can be set up ANY WAY YOU LIKE! Tradition is great… but if it doesn’t fit with your wedding then feel free to ignore it entirely and go your own way!… In fact a lot of my wedding recently have had top tables of just the Bride & Groom (& sometimes their kids)… this is mainly due to the fact that they’ve been micro-weddings and they’ve obviously had to be seated within their ‘bubbles’ but I think it looks AMAZING! It makes you look like absolute ROYALTY on the day… especially if you get yourselves 2 big throne chairs too! You could also have you two plus your Maid of Honour and your Best Man… or inc. all your bridesmaids and groomsmen too if you have the room! The choice is YOURS. 
  • Q. Views on +1 invites when you don’t really know them? I don’t want strangers at my wedding!
  • A. Unless you have an unlimited budget then my answer is… Don’t invite them! First of all… the easiest way of keeping costs down for a wedding is to invite less people… its’ not just the meal and drinks, but the additional chair cover, extra centrepieces – as you will have more tables, more favours, extra place-cards etc. (the list goes on!)… you don’t want to be spending over £100+ (and the rest) on someone that you barely know and don’t even particularly want at your day! Secondly… do you really want to be introducing yourself to someone on your wedding day (in your wedding dress… like ‘Hi, I’m the Bride’… how awkward!) Obviously there are exceptional circumstances and the plus one might be really important to your actual guest… so take each situation individually… but the point is… don’t feel pressure into feeling like you HAVE to give someone a +1 to your wedding day. The ‘normal’ rule is ‘No Ring, No Bring’… if they’re not engaged then they don’t come… however this doesn’t always work, as some couples have been together for YEARS and have no intention of getting married… so again… assess separately… usually if you say yes to one… you risk upsetting others that you said no to but you just have to remind them… it’s YOUR day! (Worst case scenario, blame the Venue Capacity… it’s like a ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card!). 
  • Q. Help! I need ideas for gifts for my bridal party! 
  • A. Feel like I need to do a WHOLE blog post on this one! But as I feel like you’re in a bit of a panic I’ll share a few insta pages (that I’ve found recently that I absolutely love) on the next couple of posts so you can get sorted sooner rather than later! (click here and see my ‘Wine & Whine’ stories highlight).  The jewellery that you want them to wear on your Wedding Day is always a perfect option – they can keep it and wear it again! 

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Wednesday 25th November 2020

  • Q. How do you go about finding a photographer and trusting them to get pics you want? 
  • A. No. 1: Ask your venue for their recommended suppliers list… find out who they love working with and why! (Or you could hire a Wedding Consultant for an hour or two to find your perfect suppliers for you… just saying). It sounds so simple… but Google Images – search for your Venue… find other Brides & Grooms tagged photos of their wedding and see which photographer captures your venue in the way that you want! STYLE: Every photographer is totally different… you need ti find someone who’s style you adore! Do you want more romantic photos… posed shots… natural photos… FUN/silly ones? Spend an evening looking through lots of different photographers sites with your partner and find a style that suits you both! I loved posed Bridal photos… where they use their AMAZING skills to make you look like a model!… BUT Mr T HATES posed images and prefers to be captured when he’s not looking at the camera… so, of course, as I wouldn’t want me new husband to feel uncomfortable on his wedding day… we found someone who could do both! I’ll do a full blog post on photographers at some point soon as there is LOADS to cover… but here are a couple of questions to get you started: 
    • How many photographers work on your wedding day? (I wanted a full team to make such they didn’t miss a single second).
    • What’s included in their packages? 
    • What time do they cover from and to? Will they be there to get your ‘Bridal Details’ photos in the morning… right up until the First Dance? 
    • What’s usually on their ‘set list’… is it long or are the more ‘off-the-cuff’ rather than pre-planned photos? 
  • My MAIN top tip is: Book an ‘engagement shoot’ with them! This is the PERFECT way to get to know your photographer better and see how they work with you. It also gives you a chance to practise before the big day and make shy partners feel more comfortable in front of the camera! Also… you can sometimes get this show included for FREE! Especially is you book with them at a Wedding Show! 
  • Q. What do you think about Christmas weddings? 
  • A. Absolutely ADORE them!!! I feel like they are SO much better if you FULLY commit to the Christmas theme too!… Think along the lines of:
    • Mulled Wine Reception Drinks
    • Winter Spiced Cocktails
    • Full Christmas Dinner Wedding Breakfast 
    • Christmas Crackers as Baubles & Favours 
    • Mistletoe Arch over your Ceremony Space
    • Fake Snow for your Photos
    • Reindeer Table Names 
    • Candy Cane Decor 
    • Bridesmaids Wreaths instead of Bouquets 
  • I have two previous couples that really ACED the whole Christmas themed wedding… I’m hoping to do a feature on both of them soon… so keep your eyes peeled! 
  • Q. What’s the most dramatic thing that’s ever happened at a wedding you’ve worked on? 
  • A. Omg… so you REALLY want me to ‘spill the tea’. I don’t even know where to begin with this one! 
  • At this point a took a poll… everyone voted for me to write a blog post on this one (with ALL the details!) – I’m busy writing it now! Keep your eyes peeled! 
  • Some people wanted a little snippet now… all I’ll say is that the GROOM didn’t sleep in his room! 
  • Q. What if someone you need to invite has a girlfriend nobody likes? 
  • A. If she’s not either of your mates… she doesn’t need an invite! Simple. (Scroll up to see my previous tip – blame the venue capacity… an easy excuse!)
  • Q. How to deal with friends who have an issue with your venue because they want it too?? 
  • A. Ooh!! This actually happened to me a few years ago! I had a show round booked the following day for a Bride… but her friend showed up out of the blue and demanded a show round without an appointment because she wanted to get in there first! I didn’t really know what to do as I couldn’t take sides! So I just did both appointments and let them argue it out amongst themselves! In the end, neither of them booked the venue… but I know that they definitely didn’t stay friends after that! So maybe both of you need to just have a think… is the venue so nice that it’s worth losing the friendship over? (If the answer is yes then… Bye Hun!) No, I’m just kidding… I would say don’t worry too much about it yet… both of you go for a look… but also look at other venues. One of you may need up finding somewhere that you love even more! If you both decide it’s definitely the one for you… then go for it… just because it’s at the same venue doesn’t mean it will be the same wedding! I’ve never seen two weddings that looked the same! Just have a chat and make sure your colour schemes/themes are totally different! And if they’re exactly the same again… it makes sense that you’re such good friends!… (double wedding anyone?).

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And that’s everything that we’ve covered over the last month!

I hope you all enjoyed them as much as I have! 

You’ve given me some great blog post ideas… but please feel free to let me know if there is anything specific you would like me to cover. 

I’ll be doing this month round-up each month to make sure that if you missed any, they’re here for you! 

And I will cover all of these topics in FULL asap! 

Hope to see you on Wednesday for the next ‘Wine & Whine’ Session!

Lots of Love, 

Mrs T x 

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